Posts Tagged ‘writing’

October was a hell of a month. And not in the normal spooky, festive way. Sure, we crammed in a yard full of skeletons and Telluride Horror Show 2024 and horror movie bingo amidst the traumas, but it was truly a struggle.

All of that to excuse the fact that I am woefully behind in providing an update.

I have a new novella (working title: Red Walls) under contract with Graveyard Press for publication in early 2025!

When parents seek revenge against the monsters who hurt their daughter, they never expect real monsters.

I am thrilled and excited to be working with this new publisher and also to finally release a new book out into the world. It has been far too long since Followers.

During COVID, I wrote until I had a backlog of three manuscripts, so I have been in editing hell since then. This is a huge step toward unburying myself from that period.

Additionally, the crowd-funding anthology I was accepted into made their goal, so that book will also be coming out soon. I also have a short appearing in another killer KJK Publishing anthology coming in the new year.

I have more related news that I will release when it’s official. Stay tuned…

Christina Bergling

https://linktr.ee/chrstnabergling

Like my writing? Check out my books!

  • Followers – You never know who is on the other side of the screen. Followers is a mystery and thriller that blends women’s fiction with horror.
  • The Rest Will Come – Online dating would drive anyone to murder, especially Emma.
  • Savages – Two survivors search the ruins for the last strain of humanity. Until the discovery of a baby changes everything.
  • The Waning – Locked in a cage, Beatrix must survive to escape or be broken completely.
  • Screechers – Mutant monsters and humans collide in the apocalyptic fallout of a burned world. Co-authored with Kevin J. Kennedy.
  • Horror Anthologies

Friday the 13th was made for horror festivals, and Colorado Festival of Horror (COFOH) took full advantage this year. I spent last weekend participating in all it had to offer.

COFOH is now in its fourth year. My first time was their second year, when they featured Art the Clown from Terrifier. Then I volunteered last year, sitting with the creator of Final Destination and members of the cast of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The festival definitely has been growing and evolving each year into a destination event for horror lovers.

The weekend is put on by genre lovers, and their passion shows. It is also still small enough that there is a community feel. It is welcoming and approachable, with fun events like karaoke, a cosplay contest, and a Little Shop of Horrors sing along.

This year, I participated even more by sitting on three different panels.

Meet Me in the Dark: We discussed the relationship between trauma and horror movies and how horror can be therapeutic. This conversation resonated with me both because I consume horror as therapy and also create it as an outlet. So many of my stories are my own trauma stretched and processed. We covered our favorite “comfort” horror movies, mine being ones like Scream and You’re Next where everyone lies and hurts the final girl but she emerges stronger and a survivor.

Turning Trauma into Art: This session was the workshop extension to Meet Me in the Dark. Instead of covering horror that comforts and helps us, we expanded to discuss the art and horror we create to deal with our own trauma. I discussed works like my post-partum horror short. Then we went through an exercise of word association with different feelings and crafted art from those lists.

Where is the Monster Line: Joining authors from Horror Writers Association Colorado chapter and Denver Horror Collective, we discussed our favorite monsters and villains we love to hate. Then we dove into what makes a villain sympathetic, interesting, or relatable versus what crosses the line into abhorrent.

I also volunteered with the celebrities again. My husband and I sat with Thom Mathews (Tommy Jarvis of Friday the 13th Part VI).

Befitting the theme and the weekend, other Friday the 13th people were in attendance. Tom McLoughlin (director of Friday the 13th Part VI) and Vincente DiSanti (creator/director/actor of the Never Hike Alone movies and a frequent Telluride Horror Show attendee).

We got to meet Pam Grier as she introduced a screening of Ghosts of Mars and provided new insights into the film’s merits.

And, perhaps most importantly, we sat beside the delightful Tiffany Shepis and helped her create and recruit for a spatula cult (IYKYK). The Spatulatti spread like wildfire.

The weekend was a bloody whirlwind that left me exhausted, but my black, little heart was full. I needed this time with fellow horror lovers. I felt involved and included, like I was contributing. At this point in my horror life, I probably should be!

Christina Bergling

https://linktr.ee/chrstnabergling

Like my writing? Check out my books!

  • Followers – You never know who is on the other side of the screen. Followers is a mystery and thriller that blends women’s fiction with horror.
  • The Rest Will Come – Online dating would drive anyone to murder, especially Emma.
  • Savages – Two survivors search the ruins for the last strain of humanity. Until the discovery of a baby changes everything.
  • The Waning – Locked in a cage, Beatrix must survive to escape or be broken completely.
  • Screechers – Mutant monsters and humans collide in the apocalyptic fallout of a burned world. Co-authored with Kevin J. Kennedy.
  • Horror Anthologies

The publishing industry continues to evolve. When I first started with the first edition of Savages, self-publishing, indie publishers, and all the Amazon-ing was starting to explode. And in the past 10 years, for better and worse, things have continued to change and evolve.

This week, I am trying a new author adventure! Crowd funding.

One of my short stories has been accepted into an anthology. The publisher (Tundra Swan) is running a Kickstarter campaign for this anthology.

This is my first time participating in a publication that is being crowd funded. (The anthology is getting published either way but with cool perks with the Kickstarter.) I’m excited and nervous and curious above all things.

Cross your fingers! If you want to go on this ride with me (and maybe get matching shirt perks), go ahead and back the Kickstarter campaign. We’ll see how this next adventure goes.

Christina Bergling

https://linktr.ee/chrstnabergling

Like my writing? Check out my books!

  • Followers – You never know who is on the other side of the screen. Followers is a mystery and thriller that blends women’s fiction with horror.
  • The Rest Will Come – Online dating would drive anyone to murder, especially Emma.
  • Savages – Two survivors search the ruins for the last strain of humanity. Until the discovery of a baby changes everything.
  • The Waning – Locked in a cage, Beatrix must survive to escape or be broken completely.
  • Screechers – Mutant monsters and humans collide in the apocalyptic fallout of a burned world. Co-authored with Kevin J. Kennedy.
  • Horror Anthologies

It has been a long time, and this blog is not the only thing I have neglected. My health the past few years unmoored me, but life sprinted on ahead. It feels like we have returned to pre-pandemic pace, but I am not the same person as before. I am broken and hobbling. I have lost the stamina to keep up with my own life.

That’s not to say I’ve been doing nothing. I have been doing plenty. Just not like I could before.

For months, I have been working on my three WIP novels. I have drafted and revised and put them through critique group and revised again. Now, two of them are out on submission.

Let the torture begin.

Query composition. Inadequate summaries. Form rejections. Miniature panic at every email. I wait for the guillotine to fall while hoping my hardest.

I’ve written more shorts. Some rejected, some accepted.

Ironically, I have done more speaking and vending events than I have in a long time. Readings with author groups, booths at Prides or oddities festivals, even podcast appearances.

I have been trying. Maybe I even have been accomplishing it. Perhaps I am the duck, gliding smooth along the surface while I’m kicking like hell underwater. But man, I still feel like I’m drowning.

The health stuff has slowed me down physically, obviously, but it has changed me mentally too. Bipolar has always been a thing; depression has always been a thing. So long that they became consistent companions, expected experiences.

Now, they have changed. What used to squeeze and suffocate me now leaves me feeling vacant. What used to torment me now numbs me. It feels like it is all happening to someone else and I am simply observing.

And I know how worrisome a symptom that is.

(Even now, the words trickle from my fingers rather than pour from my mind.)

So I continue to trip and stumble. I continue to try. Career, family, writing, existing. I just keep paddling and swimming.

Christina Bergling

https://linktr.ee/chrstnabergling

Like my writing? Check out my books!

  • Followers – You never know who is on the other side of the screen. Followers is a mystery and thriller that blends women’s fiction with horror.
  • The Rest Will Come – Online dating would drive anyone to murder, especially Emma.
  • Savages – Two survivors search the ruins for the last strain of humanity. Until the discovery of a baby changes everything.
  • The Waning – Locked in a cage, Beatrix must survive to escape or be broken completely.
  • Screechers – Mutant monsters and humans collide in the apocalyptic fallout of a burned world. Co-authored with Kevin J. Kennedy.
  • Horror Anthologies

My mind has been completely hijacked. As usual, by itself.

I have had body dysmorphia and an eating disorder since probably the late 90s. Hell, they were standard issue being raised back then. But it all masked very nicely under being “healthy” or “losing weight”. I even went to get treatment for it years ago and managed to run the therapy sessions. I am so painfully high functioning with it that it took going completely bald for it to break me.

And it has broken me. It has taken over my mind in a way it never had opportunity before.

It feels like the past decade has been tagging one physical suffering for the next. I had a miserable pregnancy, rough birth, and terrible recovery that ate a couple years. Then I tore my hip, which took over two years to just get properly treated. I had a major surgery, and the fix only lasted a few months. Then I got sick. With whatever all this has been.

As that (allegedly) recedes, it leaves me feeling a bit like a broken husk.

My appearance has always been a source of fixation and distortion, creating a rift between my sense of self and physical vessel. It never looked how I wanted (not that it could with my cracked lens), so I hated it. Now, as my body has literally turned on me and itself, it feels like it is all backlash from the years of abuse I delivered to my flesh.

The health details and symptoms and side effects are incidental. Things have been managed enough to alleviate the daily misery and anxiety, leaving me in the aftermath. Better but not good. Between survive and thrive. Relieved enough to focus on the undesirable and annoying.

My eating disorder, my dysmorphia had been flowing like a current all along. I was aware of it, but no one else needed to be. It was pacified with enough restriction, dieting, starving, and compulsive exercise. I never realized how deep it ran until I was staring at a bald gremlin in the mirror, until my body dissolved into foreign landscape.

My body does not feel like mine. Ironic, since I always drew such an illusory line between myself and it. It does not look, feel, or function like mine. No longer in the killing me way but in a way that constantly grates on my nerves. I feel every thread in my clothes, every fold in my skin, every ache in my joints.

I feel consistently and constantly uncomfortable.

And with that static in my brain, I can’t think of much else. My body feels like a sinking ship. It feels like the water is rising, cresting my chin, flirting with my mouth, and I am about to be suffocated by my own flesh. And my mind is compelled to catalog and broadcast that in real time every moment of every day.

I want to work. I want to write. I want to experience. I want to escape. But my mind has been completely hijacked by these relentless sensations.

So I am working on it in specialized therapy. Therapy I could have used 10-20 years ago. I’m not new to therapy or treatment. I know how this works. As we trench up these pervasive, deep rooted, dusty issues, their true form and extent are revealed. The carefully constructed walls and masks are revoked, and it all get so much worse. The monster feels untamed and bigger than ever.

But that is the only way to actually deal with and change it.

I haven’t had to do a full, retrospective unpacking since my bipolar diagnosis over two decades ago. I have been spoiled into complacency, coasting by on functionality. Opening these wounds has me vulnerable, insecure, off balance. That fucked up, lost kid again.

I’m old enough to know THIS TOO SHALL PASS is the truest thing someone can say about life. But I’m also dumb enough to forget it every time the situation swallows me. Last year, I was barely struggling through. I would have given anything to get this far. Pragmatically, I can understand this is another step, another transitory thing. Yet my emotions mire me in the suffering.

I want my life back. I want my mind back. I want to reclaim all the space this is taking in me. Even if it’s just enough to get lost back in my stories again.

Christina Bergling

https://linktr.ee/chrstnabergling

Like my writing? Check out my books!

  • Followers – You never know who is on the other side of the screen. Followers is a mystery and thriller that blends women’s fiction with horror.
  • The Rest Will Come – Online dating would drive anyone to murder, especially Emma.
  • Savages – Two survivors search the ruins for the last strain of humanity. Until the discovery of a baby changes everything.
  • The Waning – Locked in a cage, Beatrix must survive to escape or be broken completely.
  • Screechers – Mutant monsters and humans collide in the apocalyptic fallout of a burned world. Co-authored with Kevin J. Kennedy.
  • Horror Anthologies

I would open by commenting on what a rollercoaster of a year 2023 was. However, saying that four years in a row now takes the impact out of the sentiment. 2023 was a lot, but it appears this is just the tone since 2020.

Last calendar year concluded with me freshly hairless and mired in autoimmune and medical issues. That adventure devoured a lot of this year too. However, I saw progress in treatment and coping, shifting it from something smothering me to something standing menacingly beside me.

I have hair regrowth. I don’t feel like shit every moment I’m awake. Gladly, I take these victories.

In all honesty, health issues and other losses were consuming for a long time. Writing and even more the business of being an author took a backseat to survival.

And much of it was survival. More so than I was willing to acknowledge at the time. On the other side of the storm, I can truly see how dark the clouds were.

Yet I still accomplished things. Part of it was therapeutic. The rest might have been compulsion.

I did get published this year:

“Hairs” is a special piece. I poured in all my Alopecia pain and trauma and made it horror (as if it wasn’t already). It was cathartic, and I needed it.

What I want, however, is another published novel. Not this year. I have three novels written–in various stages of editing. This is largely because I escaped into writing. I lived in the story then plunged into the next without a breath or a glance so I didn’t have to feel my life.

Again, survival.

With this editing backlog, I did skip NaNoWriMo this year. Since I was more functional by November, I repurposed the time for editing–NaNoEdiMo. It was ridiculously more challenging to quantify content reviewed and reworked versus pages written. I set my goal to go through two of my WIP novels–and I made it!

That progress leaves Invisible Girls ready for final polish (though I still have doubts about querying it), Monster Lane (for which “Opportunity” is a prequel) ready for critique group, and Savages 2 next in line.

Nothing may be “done”, but the progress must be acknowledged.

Now, I find myself torn. I want to write new works (I have a short and a novel knocking at my brain), but I need to get these WIPs out. And I’m not very good at alternating between the tasks.

I just end up with three unedited novels.

Perhaps the largest accomplishment of 2023 is that now, finally I feel capable of working again. I wrote, and I edited. Next, I can find my way back querying and promoting.

I had to set much aside and give myself a lot of grace to make it through the last year (+). What I find now is the optimism to be able to do more than just survive.

Christina Bergling

https://linktr.ee/chrstnabergling

Like my writing? Check out my books!

  • Followers – You never know who is on the other side of the screen. Followers is a mystery and thriller that blends women’s fiction with horror.
  • The Rest Will Come – Online dating would drive anyone to murder, especially Emma.
  • Savages – Two survivors search the ruins for the last strain of humanity. Until the discovery of a baby changes everything.
  • The Waning – Locked in a cage, Beatrix must survive to escape or be broken completely.
  • Screechers – Mutant monsters and humans collide in the apocalyptic fallout of a burned world. Co-authored with Kevin J. Kennedy.
  • Horror Anthologies

Last month, I went to Colorado Festival of Horror and made some friends! Listen to us talk about the festival, horror in general, and my writing!

Christina Bergling

https://linktr.ee/chrstnabergling

Like my writing? Check out my books!

  • Followers – You never know who is on the other side of the screen. Followers is a mystery and thriller that blends women’s fiction with horror.
  • The Rest Will Come – Online dating would drive anyone to murder, especially Emma.
  • Savages – Two survivors search the ruins for the last strain of humanity. Until the discovery of a baby changes everything.
  • The Waning – Locked in a cage, Beatrix must survive to escape or be broken completely.
  • Screechers – Mutant monsters and humans collide in the apocalyptic fallout of a burned world. Co-authored with Kevin J. Kennedy.
  • Horror Anthologies

I just got home from my 7th Telluride Horror Show (yes, I’m counting the 2020 fest streamed from home during the pandemic). A younger, drunker Christina used to cram in every possible screening and skid out of the weekend on her face the shell of a human. This old, post-illness, recovering Christina took an more moderate approach. But even with uncharacteristic rest and self-care, I did manage nine movies over three days.

And I had a great time.

The Movies

Favorite of the Fest

I attended my first Telluride Horror Show in 2017, and Never Hike Alone premiered there on that Friday the 13th. I loved the movie and started following and backing Womp Stomp Films. I had been watching hoping to see the sequel grace Telluride again. When another Friday the 13th premiere was announced, I was ecstatic.

It did not disappoint.

Never Hike Alone 2 takes threads from Never Hike Alone and Never Hike in the Snow and ties them up in a gruesome little bow, delivering the splatter we want with added depth. Never Hike Alone is a narrow narrative that brings us back to Camp Crystal Lake with foolish solo hiker, Kyle. In Kyle’s misadventure, Tommy Jarvis reenters the scene. Then in Never Hike in the Snow, the world expands, stepping back to before Kyle and an earlier murder, painting a picture of what serial loss does to families and the community over decades. Never Hike Alone 2 then hands the narrative baton from Kyle to Tommy. We see a chunk of the events in Never Hike Alone from Tommy’s perspective, weave in the grieving mother from Never Hike in the Snow, then jam on for a bloody climax.

Loved

If this year’s films had common theme, it could easily be “bad shit happening to children”. I don’t know what the fact that two of my favorites were the worst offenders says about me. But the Horror Show came hard for one of the remaining taboos in horror.

When Evil Lurks

In 2018, I saw Terrified at Telluride Horror Show. Loved it. This year, Demián Rugna returned with When Evil Lurks. Like Terrified, this is another story involving demonic possession. However, the manifestation and the world it happens in are different, unique. The movie starts twisted and depraved before punching the audience right in the throat. It got a touch shaky toward the end but not enough to unravel the story.

The Coffee Table

THE talk of the fest.

The Coffee Table is billed as a black comedy. NOPE. It is just black. Black, oppressive discomfort that captivates you in every frame. I kept waiting for the tilt, the turn into comedy, but it never came. However, the film is so well made, so compelling that I ultimately did not need it. I was unpacking it through my nightmares and into the next morning.

Infested (Vermines)

Arachnophobia traumatized me as a child. Scenes of spiders under toilets and in bowls of popcorn still live in my mind rent-free. Which is why I had to go see Infested. While the ending got a little loose and the commentary a little clunky, it is a fun watch. I jumped; I cringed; I imagined my earrings were little spider legs.

Liked

Not every movie punched me right in the feels (or stomach). Plenty of them were entertaining without being perfect.

Where the Devil Roams

I have been following Adams Family Pictures since The Deeper You Dig and Hellbender at previous Telluride Horror Shows and again at Six Feet Under Horror Film Festival. I adore their dark, quirky style and adorable family. Yet Where the Devil Roams didn’t land as well for me. While the filmmaking and effects have evolved, the storytelling is a bit convoluted. I spent too much time being confused.

Frogman

Frogman is wild. It is apparent that the filmmakers are new to found footage in the amount of shaking and static applied. While the movie could benefit from an aggressive edit, the characters have great chemistry, and it is a super entertaining watch. When you can keep your eyes onscreen.

Suitable Flesh

There is nothing like a Lovecraftian body swapping tale. I forgave a lot of ridiculousness because the events happen in Arkham. Suitable Flesh is not a watch for quality but instead for wild, spinning sex scenes and gratuitous violence.

Eh

While every movie was not a hit for me, none where a total miss either. I didn’t see anything I hated. However, there were some for which I had critiques.

If the fest had a secondary film theme (besides child trauma), it would have been continuity issues. Multiple films came to wobbling conclusion violating their own rules or leaving something unexplained or just ending.

It’s a Wonderful Knife

Christmas for Halloween is always rough, but there is often a holiday movie at the fest. It’s a Wonderful Knife plays off (surprise, surprise) It’s a Wonderful Life with a slasher twist. However, the movie comes across a bit sloppy and Hallmark-y. It is a bit disappointing after seeing Tragedy Girls from director Tyler MacIntyre.

Vincent Must Die

Vincent Must Die has a great premise. People just start randomly assaulting Vincent with building violence. However, it seems like the filmmakers didn’t know how to consummate that idea. By the end, I felt like they were trying to say something significant and I had just missed it.

The Fest

Telluride is GORGEOUS! The weather year to year is really roulette, but this year, we landed on perfect, idyllic autumn. Abundant sunshine (according to my weather app), aspen leaves so bright they looked on fire, even temperate nights.

We went on our annual hike, this time selecting a loop around Mountain Village. For being a “popular” trail, it was horribly marked, and it took three apps to navigate us successfully. Since we started at the mid-point of the gondola, it included a bizarre trek through the village, shops, construction zones. However, it was gentle and beautiful. I feel more intimately familiar with Telluride now that I have hiked up grassy blue runs and over frozen snow machines. Like being behind the scenes of the resort.

At this point, this pilgrimage is steeped in tradition with our “family”. I have been going to the Horror Show long enough that our annual trip feels like home. We know the places. We have tips and tricks. I have friends and connections who I look forward to seeing each year.

With explosive growth over the years and post-COVID, the culture of the Telluride Horror Show is changing. Everyone is still super nice. Filmmakers are still very accessible. It is just less rowdy. Gone is the wall-to-wall mass of humans at Last Call, fogging up the bar windows. Tamed are the late night screenings, cheers and whoops exchanged for more pious observation.

Telluride Horror Show is growing up. The same part of me that misses drinking misses the more rambunctious energy. But the same part of me that requires sobriety realizes this is probably for the best.

Christina Bergling

https://linktr.ee/chrstnabergling

Like my writing? Check out my books!

  • Followers – You never know who is on the other side of the screen. Followers is a mystery and thriller that blends women’s fiction with horror.
  • The Rest Will Come – Online dating would drive anyone to murder, especially Emma.
  • Savages – Two survivors search the ruins for the last strain of humanity. Until the discovery of a baby changes everything.
  • The Waning – Locked in a cage, Beatrix must survive to escape or be broken completely.
  • Screechers – Mutant monsters and humans collide in the apocalyptic fallout of a burned world. Co-authored with Kevin J. Kennedy.
  • Horror Anthologies

I’m back! I have been avoiding the camera since losing my hair. But here I am, reading horror I wrote inspired by said loss. It then, of course, gets so much worse.

You can read my short “Hairs” in its entirety for free at the 96th of October.

Christina Bergling

https://linktr.ee/chrstnabergling

Like my writing? Check out my books!

  • Followers – You never know who is on the other side of the screen. Followers is a mystery and thriller that blends women’s fiction with horror.
  • The Rest Will Come – Online dating would drive anyone to murder, especially Emma.
  • Savages – Two survivors search the ruins for the last strain of humanity. Until the discovery of a baby changes everything.
  • The Waning – Locked in a cage, Beatrix must survive to escape or be broken completely.
  • Screechers – Mutant monsters and humans collide in the apocalyptic fallout of a burned world. Co-authored with Kevin J. Kennedy.
  • Horror Anthologies

Losing my hair last year was traumatic. Even with the medication coursing through me and hair slooooooooowly returning, it is still every day. Waiting for me in the mirror.

I write horror because that is what comes out of my brain. Nightmares and worst case scenarios. To no surprise, I processed this life event by writing horror.

“Hairs” is a deeply personal story for me. I poured my pain into the premise and the beginning then let the ugly thing sprout legs and sprint into the horrific. I cried as I wrote it and when I read it. Yet, by the end, I do feel better, more settled.

Find “Hairs” on 96th of October, and let me know what you think of this slice of my hell.

There is more hair in the sink. There is always more hair in the sink. And in the shower. And in the drain. And in my hands. And everywhere. Tumbleweeds of hair across the tile. Webs of hair embedded in the carpet.

And I feel like I lose a piece of myself in every strand.

http://96thofoctober.com/articles/hairs/

Christina Bergling

https://linktr.ee/chrstnabergling

Like my writing? Check out my books!

  • Followers – You never know who is on the other side of the screen. Followers is a mystery and thriller that blends women’s fiction with horror.
  • The Rest Will Come – Online dating would drive anyone to murder, especially Emma.
  • Savages – Two survivors search the ruins for the last strain of humanity. Until the discovery of a baby changes everything.
  • The Waning – Locked in a cage, Beatrix must survive to escape or be broken completely.
  • Screechers – Mutant monsters and humans collide in the apocalyptic fallout of a burned world. Co-authored with Kevin J. Kennedy.
  • Horror Anthologies