depression
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It has been a long time, and this blog is not the only thing I have neglected. My health the past few years unmoored me, but life sprinted on ahead. It feels like we have returned to pre-pandemic pace, but I am not the same person as before. I am broken and hobbling. I have…
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My therapist told me I need to integrate my self with my body, creating one holistic me. However, when I was struggling through a hike, I realized that the fragmentation of my self into myself and its shell is functional. It has been self-preservation.
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Welcome to a darkly satirical little journey through suicide, suicidal ideation, self-harm, depression. Apply a heavy sardonic tone while reading.
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“Did you miss me?” she said into the abyss. I have been out of it as far as writing, posting, connecting. What happened to me? Christina Bergling https://linktr.ee/chrstnabergling Like my writing? Check out my books! Followers – You never know who is on the other side of the screen. Followers is a mystery and thriller…
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I want to give it all up. All the striving. All the pushing. All the trying. I just want to stop and forget I ever wanted to. I won’t. But that’s what I want right now. To quit.
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I don’t know why depression and writing walk hand in hand for me. Mania and writing surely do not, though I would love to fuel my craft with that energy. There is just a certain point in the descent, a certain shade in the darkness where my mind unfurls and all the words pour down…
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Yesterday, I got my semicolon tattoo in a now cliche display of suicide and self-harm survival. It was a last minute addition when I was sitting to get flowers added to my seasonal sleeve. The tattoo may be fully mainstream now, hiding on the wrists of strangers all around me, but the metaphor still speaks…
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Releasing my novella Savages as an audiobook was a new and bizarre experience as an author. As many nights as I spent writing the book and as many times as I’ve read it over, it was something completely different to hear my entire story aloud in another voice. I loved it, so I decided I…
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When I started “modeling,” I think I was chasing a way to feel positively about my appearance. In the wake of my most self-destructive phase, I needed to manufacture some semblance of confidence from the shattered pieces of my sense of self. I knew I could never be classified as conventionally pretty or skinny, but…
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I recently had an otherwise innocuous experience dig up some very old and relatively unrelated trauma. Considering the disconnect and the disproportionate emotional surge, I considered this a warning sign and an indication that I should probably finally go and address the issue. I have effectively avoided actually discussing it in 15 years of sporadic…
Fiery Pen 